PRE-WORK:
Low Slow DJ Voice
Cats aren’t babies…
so don’t use baby talk.
We tend to talk to cats using baby talk. I get it. Our cats are our babies so it feels so natural…to us. But it isn’t natural to the cat. Baby talk is quick and high pitched in order to get a baby excited. This is the opposite of what we want to achieve when socializing a cat. Baby talk leaves the cat feeling agitated. Our socialization goal is to get the cat calm and relaxed. In order to do this, we need to use a low slow DJ voice. Think of the late night slow groove disc jockey on the radio who languidly announces the next song with a deep timbre in his voice. That’s going to be you every time you talk to the cat. Our ultimate goal with the Low Slow DJ Voice and (later on) Slow Blinks is to get the cat in a relaxed, almost sleepy, state. The cat won’t have his defenses up so can start to trust us. Refer to the example video below to hear how the Low Slow DJ Voice sounds.
When I socialize, I rarely talk. But if I do, I talk using the Low Slow DJ Voice. However, there will be times when you must talk using the Low Slow DJ Voice. Let’s set the stage: Imagine that you are in a scary new place with scary strangers. Every time the door opens you stiffen up and get ready to defend yourself, or run to the corner to hide because you don’t know what danger is about to enter. To help the cat feel more at ease, we always start talking using the Low Slow DJ Voice when we are 5 feet away from the door/entry way and continue talking as we open the door and walk in. This means that if the cat is in the main living room, you will do this when you approach your front door or the living room entry way. If the cat is in a room in the home, you do this as you approach the doorway to that room. It doesn’t matter what you say. You could recite a poem or the lyrics to a song…the cat won’t understand the words. What matters is how you say it.
Why do we do this? Low Slow DJ Voice
There are two reasons why we use the Low Slow DJ Voice.
The first reason is that it helps the cat relax vs. baby talk with makes the cat feel agitated and anxious.
The second reason is that over time it puts the cat at ease when we enter his area. Cats have exceptional hearing and can hear our footsteps as we approach the door or entry way. But since the cat can’t see us yet, for all he knows, someone dangerous is approaching. But over time as you work through the SSL steps, the cat will start to realize that he is safe with you. So by talking using the Low Slow DJ Voice as you approach, you are letting the cat know that the person approaching isn’t dangerous.
How does the impact of this important step manifest? When people reach out to me for help, their cat is usually hiding when they open the door. But as they do the Low Slow DJ Voice (and begin SSL), they start to see that when they open the door or enter the space, the cat is sitting in the middle of the playpen/room doing whatever the cat was doing before you started to approach. Often the cat will pause and look up at you, then continue with whatever he was doing before you arrived.
Baby Talk vs. Low Slow DJ Voice
I find it helps people understand how effective the Low Slow DJ Voice is when they experience it from the perspective of the cat.
In the beginning do not have the TV or radio on during your sessions
In the beginning when the cat is still scared or wary of you, do not have the TV or radio on. Your goal is to get the cat to relax and feel calm. When the cat finally starts to relax during a session, you don’t want a sudden loud noise or high pitched voice to come on the TV or radio because it will break the magic and put the cat back on high alert. It’s usually quiet when I socialize in Phase 1 (I don’t really talk), but when you start working petting without treats I find its fine to be on phone calls.
I had one cat who I always socialized (in the advanced stage) during my video calls to guide people. She ended up associating my video calls with her positive experience during socialization sessions—she ran over and hopped into my lap every time I sat down and put my phone in front of me for a video chat!
Approaching the door/entry way
This applies to when the cat is in the living room, in which case the door is the front door if the living room is right by the entrance when you live in an apartment. “The door” can also mean the open entry way to living room if you are in a house. “The door” can also be the door to your bedroom if you have the cat (in or out of the playpen) set up in the bedroom.
The cat can hear your footsteps as you approach. The cat will run and hide before you arrive because the cat is scared, not knowing who is coming. As you start to socialize the cat and the cat starts to trust you, the cat will remain wherever he is when you walk in if he knows it is you coming.
Start talking to the cat as you approach the door/entry way. It doesn’t matter what you say, it just matters that you use the Low Slow DJ Voice. Continue talking as you open the door, step in and close the door.
Example of the Low Slow DJ Voice
Refer to this only for the audio. I created a compilation of adorable Walnut kitten videos to make it interesting to watch. Keep in mind that reading to the cat is not an effective socialization technique. Use the Low Slow DJ voice as described in the tutorials above and immediately start “The Reset” step.